Although the cover of Nintendo Wii's Mario Kart makes very little sense (like, why would Mario and Luigi be holding portable wheels instead of being behind the actual ones they drive in the game?), we get the feeling that they just want us to feel comfortable as we cradle those cute baby-plate steering devices. Yeah, there's nothing terrifying about those free-standing Wii wheels, but the good news is you can take it to the loo with you if it gets to that point of Mario Kart obsession. And it just might.

Mario Kart for the Wii does bear an eerie resemblance to the Nintendo 64 version, which was the only reference I had to go on when embarking on the spastic, survival-of-the-fittest, bananas in your gears, ink in your face, turtle shells wacking you out of orbit. The same old meanie race we know and love. The gang's still here: Mario and Luigi, Peach, Wario, Bowser, Donkey Kong,  Koopa and some other merciless villains.

We began with two steering wheels, which is a good investment for a two-headed household. Mario Kart fights involving one Wii wheel are petty and last far too long, since the grip is good and neither person wants to break it. So spring for that second wheel, which is only about $20. The game itself is about $50, including one wheel. [Best Buy]

Players have the choice of playing each other (in the room) and using their Mii characters saved on their Wii remotes or they can also choose to race against random computer characters. They can also use the WFC (Wi Fi Connection) feature to connect to their friends or other random users around the world. Once connected, a large-screen view of a globe will appear and show the name and location of each person you are about to race. Then, you and the other players have the option of voting for the race course you want. This is a terrific feature, though we've noticed that communications tend to not pick up and/or get lost if both of us are trying to play (in the same room, two wheels). This works better with one player.



A few notable levels: "Toad' Factory", (pictured above) is a dirt biker's dream (you can also race with bikes in this game). "Mushroom Gorge" is pretty challenging, with huge mushroom jump pads to make your race hell. One false move and you could go from 2nd to 12th place in about 2 seconds. "Coconut Mall" is a face paced, semi no-brainer, as well as "Shy Guy Beach." Take a lesson in snowboarding for "DK Summit" in which you must maneuver around unruly patches of snow and brutal half-pipes. And it you're super-inclined, try your hand at the dizzying "Rainbow Road," a psychedelic shoestring in the middle of space sent to destroy you and your vehicle.

Don't forget the crucial element to this game: be ruthless. Those floating squares of mystery weapons are your greatest chance at becoming a racing ace, so get those. Here are most of the weapons and how to use them:
MAGIC BULLET: This is the best weapon. Usually given when you're behind. Press your trigger, and the bullet will blast you forward, most likely putting you a few places ahead!
LIGHTNING: This makes all of your opponents tiny when they are struck. It's really funny.
BOMB: Throw a bomb at someone and they get blasted into oblivion.
SHELL: Hit someone ahead or behind you.
TRIPLE SHELL: Do some serious damage as you wipe out those in your way.
SQUID: Give every a nice old ink blot so they can't see what's going on.
MUSHROOM: Go faster than everyone!
TRIPLE MUSHROOM: Go faster than everyone, over and over. Keep pressing trigger!
GOLDEN MUSHROOM: Go faster than everyone, but keep pressing trigger until it is gone. It's on a timer.
STAR: You're invincible. GO! You can do anything!
BANANAS: Leave some bananas behind and mess some dudes up!
FAKE BOX: Leave this behind and racers think it's a weapon box. It's a fake, and they'll mess up!

I'm sure there's more, but that's all I have for you. So, I dunno, what do they say? Start your engines or something?