Season 7 has long been dong-centric and America’s decision to release the final set of breasts back into the wild only furthers this reality.  The greatest seers of our time warned this would happen.  Syesha Mercado has been eliminated from the competition. 

After 56 million votes and three teary homecomings, it’s time for the real fun to begin.  Forget David and Goliath; this is going to be a molten hot showdown of David vs David.  Or, as it’s called around these parts, The Joker VS Monchichi. 

Little breathy Archuletachichi with his 17 year old charm and over enunciation will attempt to sway straggling fans with his toothy smile and soft ballad stylings.  On the flip side, David Cook will modulate his brains out and smirk his way into the hearts of all nonbelievers. 

Access has not yet been confirmed for next week’s AI Finale, but we’re hoping to bring you live eye, red-carpet photos and a detailed retelling of studio shenanigans.

Get to know your idols… 
Visit the LA.COM American Idol Archive and catch up on Season 7!