Preparing For Coachella: A Practical How-To Guide For Rockers

* 2010 Guide To Coachella *

Managing Weather Expectations

Imagine you are embarking on a three day retreat to the inside of your oven. It will be hot. It will be dry. You will probably get burned. And after baking all day, you will get cold.

The Empire Polo field is deceptive with its cushy green grass and towering palm perimeter, but make no mistake, you are very much in the desert.  What you are seeing is merely a mirage-like hallucination brought on by acute dust inhalation and/or the crappy teenage weed you picked up in the parking lot.

How Not To Die

Drink. A. Lot. Of. Water. Drinking water is totally important or you'll totally die, probably in a porta-potty, and

If you take the 10 freeway from Los Angeles you will meet Arnie on your way to Coachella. He is very friendly.(Photo by Lisa Brenner)

To help in this effort, Coachella masterminds have invented a fun little activity that combines all the things you already love: drinking, games, being cheap, and looking like you care about the environment.

It's called the "10 for 1 Bottle Recycling" program, but you can call it a Hydration Scavenger Hunt. 

Here's how it works: Return ten empty water bottles, get a sparkly fresh one to drink.  Trash is recycled, you are hydrated, and the on-site medics can rock out to sweet tunes without having to take you to the hospital.

Day Of Show Essentials

Prepare a mid-sized tote, backpack, or handkerchief on a stick with everything you'll need for each day. If your contact lenses seize to your eyeballs and your friends contract hoof-in-mouth disease, you will be bummed you didn't take ten minutes to stop at Walgreens. Make a list. Put this stuff on it.

• SPF 30 or higher sunblock
• Non-professional camera
• Cash money
• Gum, mints
• Travel Wet Ones Antibacterial Hands & Face Wipes
• Travel Purell
• Earplugs
• Eye drops
• Sunglasses
• Driver's license/ID
• ATM card

For a complete list of YES and NO bringables to the event grounds (ie: YES to Cigarettes, Fanny Packs, Moonboots :: NO to Bombs, Pomeranians, Drums) check the official Coachella website.

What To Wear

Dress for success in the thinnest clothing you have and layer like Mom taught you.  Rainbow flip-flops are a winner because of the arch support, and a light zippy hoodie or large thin scarf + knit cap makes nighttime the right time. 

If you opt for daytime headwear, think brim (d-bag visors, Kentucky Derby showpieces, favorite baseball caps). Also, wear a watch. Cell service is spotty and you'll want to time the tightly scheduled sets of your favorite bands.

A Bit Of The In-N-Out

For the first time ever the festival is allowing in-and-out privileges to the event grounds during the day.

This is probably doesn't sound like big deal if you've never been before, but for veteran attendees it's like your parents finally extending your curfew past 9:30p. 

Camping, or How I Learned To Stop Schlepping & Love Coachella

Mark the calendar. In the year 2010, car camping has finally arrived. This is another huge change to the Coachella process and protocol.

Car Camping means you can now park your shockingly racist au-to-mo-beeeeeeeeeeeel next to your tent instead of ten miles away requiring an awkward, messy, heavy, leaking, reeking amalgam of nite-nite gear to be dragged across a dusty, scorching, unforgiving desert.

Bottom line for camping: No glass, No pets, No problem.  More rules and a full list of amenities here. 

Parking

Don't be an ultra maroon, watch out for that turn at Albuquerque, and enjoy the FREE PARKING. Take note, the lots are giant dirt fields that go on for infinity and if you don't have a plastic, petrified Wienerschnitzel dog clutching your antenna you may never find your car again.

The bad news, brace yourself for a looong walk of biblical proportions to get to the entrance of the festival grounds. The good news, once you're inside, the trek from tent to tent and stage to stage seems far less epic. Other transportation options include a nearby taxi drop and a snazzy Amtrak express train that takes passengers directly from Union Station to Indio.

Set Times & Stages

Stage assignments and set times are released a few days before the festival, but you can start creating your schedule now with the online app called the Coachooser, wocca wocca.

Scroll the lineup and click a wishlist of the bands you want to see each day. Your choices are saved and when the set times are released the data populates your fantasy program allowing you to plan an attack.

See you on the battlefield.  :)