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LOS ANGELES (1/31/10) -- The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards exposed itself to the Staples Center last night with Lady Gaga opening the show in a green glitter, deep cut, crotch-floss teddy.

The shoulder padded songstress battled Sir Elton John on a pair of dueling pianos covered in black lacquered body parts positioned at the bottom of a soot-filled 'fame factory.' What am I saying? I have no idea but I swear I saw it on TV.

As host, Stephen Colbert got a cooler reception than at the infamous
Beyonce took home six awards, the most of any artist at Sunday s Grammy Awards show at Staples Center. (Kevin Winter, Getty Images)
White House correspondent dinner, though he did win Best Comedy Album for his Christmas record. Beyonce put a ring on Song of the Year and 5 others, while the speech-police put a no joke kibosh on acceptance thank yous that ran too long.

Pink showed up with something to prove in a getup that included a biblical shroud and a bodysuit made of pantyhose and correction tape. The Philly girl offered live vocals while twirling furiously over head, soaked in water, upside down by her ankles, suspended in a stripper/circus sheet. All and all a low-key, understated performance.

Just in time for Doppelganger Week Green Day met their musical theater counterparts on the Grammy stage before they headed off to NYC for the Broadway debut of the pop punk production, American Idiot. Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel intro'd a 'You Vote, We Play' online poll for the best
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 31: Singer Pink performs onstage during the 52nd Annual GRAMMY Awards held at Staples Center on January 31, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images) (Getty Images)
Bon Jovi song -- a contest clearly favoring the Jersey time zone as the taped show was already over by the time West Coasters would have had a say.

Taylor 'Man of La Mancha' Swift, with her doe eyes and mermaid hair, lived the "impossible dream" with a couple of wins for contempo country. Quentin Tarantino dressed like Elvis and talked like Robin Williams while introducing Lil Wayne and Eminem. Beyonce in a metallica dress and silky blonde hair made time with a fan machine, rocked an invisible junk-grab, broke out into Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know and then dropped to her knees for a 2Pac transition back to the original song. Mr. Klum gushed over Leonard Cohen, and Best New Artist went to the alarmingly dull Zac Brown Band
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 31: Singer Lady Gaga in the audience during the 52nd Annual GRAMMY Awards held at Staples Center on January 31, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images for NARAS) *** Local Caption *** Lady Gaga (Larry Busacca)
(beating out Apple faves Ting Tings and local loves Silversun Pickups).

Miley Cyrus looking like Lindsay Lohan introduced The Black Eyed Peas looking like they were headed to the S&M Rhythm Nation. Ima Be over it. The Black Eyed Peas are like the UGG boots of music. Think about it. Then the Jonas Brothers said some words about Lady Antebellum. Whats a Lady Antebellum? Sounds very clinical.

Ringo Starr and Nora Jones (and sort of Bobby Darrin) presented the very tipsy Kings of Leon with Record of the Year, and we learned that Robert Downey Jr. has crooked glasses, or a crooked face. Either way his right eye was nowhere to be found as he introduced the opera folks and Jamie Foxx who went on to "blame it on the" hardest working auto-tune in show business with the help of T Pain and Slash.

Katy Perry and Alice Cooper awarded Green Day with a shiny trophy, Nashville cat Harold Bradley won the Trustees Award for his guitar playing contributions to legendary tracks like King of the Road, Crazy, and Only the Lonely, a trainwreck named Ke$ha botched and intro, and two of Michael Jackson's children, Prince Michael and Paris, spoke about MJ's legacy of love following a 3-D tribute to their late father.

Foster, Bocelli, and Blige did it up Simon and Garfunkel style to help Haiti, Quentin Tarantino dressed like Elvis and talked like Robin Williams while introducing Lil Wayne and Eminem (who absolutely killed it), Mos Def and Placido Domingo won for most entertaining crime fighting duo/presenters, and Bon Jovi struggled to make Born To Follow not sound like gospel-Springsteen-meets-Born-To-Be-My-Baby.

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