Dear Michael Jackson,
This is a formal request for you to extend your final tour to the majestic Empire Polo Fields in Indio, California for the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival 2009.
I understand that you're trying to 'put your foot down' and say that your shows in London are your final shows but come on, what's ONE more show right? I also understand that the people of America haven't been too kind to you over the last 10 or 15 years. But like, don't fret MJ. The true Michael Jackson fans have always loved you. And for that we deserve a final, glorious hurrah.
You taught me that "Billie Jean" isn't my lover, that it doesn't matter if I'm "Black or White," and that werewolves are incredibly scary in red patent leather.
You had me dreaming of Lisa Marie at night and Mcauley Culkin, well, I'll leave that homie alone.
You had me and thousands of other young boys trying to do the moonwalk alone for hours in our garages -- I'm still baffled at how you made it look so graceful, like you were ACTUALLY walking on the moon.
Just think, you can come back here to sunny SoCal, tie up some loose ends at the ranch and then rock a two-step and a sparkly coat in the middle of the desert. It will be like Prince in 2008 - multiplied in radness by like a fucking million!!! Imagine Janet joining you on stage. Imagine showing us one last time why you are the King of Pop.
Folks over at Goldenvoice, I sincerely hope you see things the same way. And I hope that you Mr. Jackson will see that LA needs you to do this. I need you to do this. Millions of fans in the US need you to do this. Starving stray dogs and orphaned children need you to do this. And if you don't? well I guess I may just anoint Justin Timberlake the King of Pop (but it will be with a tear in my eye).