So what's the best thing about the Monday morning after the Academy Awards for all the losers?
Why, having a swag bag worth $75,000 dropped off at your door, that's what!
Sadly, only the actors and directors who did not win receive that little perk known as the "Everyone's a Winner" Oscar Nominee Gift Bag from Distinctive Assets, the company that has put together the since 2001. You know, it's the one that the IRS sat up and noticed when the retail price tag of the goods packed inside soared to $150,000 in 2006? That little run-in with the Feds has scaled things back a bit, but let's face it. People like Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Leonardo DiCaprio and Christian Bale can afford to pay those taxes, now can't they?
And they are sure to enjoy a few of the perks in that swag bag, including five nights in a luxury villa at the Koloa Landing Resort in Kauai, a trip on the Rocky Mountaineer train through Western Canada and (believe it or not) a $15,000 customized walking tour of Japan.
It was a good swag day for nominees, presenters and winners on the Saturday (March 1) before the Oscars, too, as many of them gathered at the 2014 Independent Spirit Awards on the beach in Santa Monica. That's because of the high-end Official Presenter Gift Lounge Backstage that offered up some serious goodies. Winner-of-everything Best Actress Cate Blanchett stopped in, as did 2014 Spirit AND Oscar nominees Sally Hawkins, June Squibb and Julie Delpy.
They all licked up Breyers Gelato Indulgences (who wouldn't, really?), and that company gave a donation to Film Independent for every celebrity - like "American Hustle" stars Jeremy Renner and Elisabeth Röhm, "12 Years a Slave" baddies Michael Fassbender and Paul Dano, "Nebraska" favorite son Will Forte and the fabulous "20 Feet from Stardom" singers Darlene Love and Tata Vega - who stopped by.
Greta Gerwig, John Waters, Laura Dern, Andrew Dice Clay and other happily independent filmmakers and stars sampled Sabra's latest hummus and salsa offerings, then once strengthened, went in for more, loading up with top-of-the-line Manito Linens, Fashion Forms bodywear, Murad Skincare and Tibolli Haircare beauty products, Carols Falchi Couture handbags and Crunch Fitness Club memberships. Not a bad haul for an easy afternoon at the beach, huh?
Also on Saturday, celebs flocked to the GBK and airweave Luxury Gift Lounge on the rooftop of L'Ermitage Hotel in Beverly Hills, where the Japanese influence was front and center. Airweave, the Japanese manufacturer of premium bedding toppers and pillows, made sure everyone was able to get a good night's sleep before Oscar Sunday, while Relax 2 Yoga gifted yoga/Pilates training sessions to relieve the stresses of awards season and ABC Limo handed out vouchers for free transfers to LAX.
Director-actor Penny Marshall led the charge for Flamma Jewelry pink diamond baubles, Sugarbums luxury lingerie, Silk by Bryony scarves and SOUL Electronics headphones, while Amy Smart, Joyce Giraud, Charlotte Ross scooped up $1000 laser hair remover certificates from Obagi Skin Health Institute, VitaSkin Collection products, Gold Collagen food supplements and Crave Collection cosmetics.
Joe Morton, John Salley and Anthony Anderson sampled the Chipotle and Tender Greens food offerings; and there was plenty of wine courtesy of Newman's Own, as well as Sammy's Beach Bar Rum (via Sammy Hagar) and Peets's Coffee & Tea to keep the party rolling.
So it seems that by Monday morning, everyone in Hollywood was a winner - at least when it comes to having a roomful of swag that wasn't there when Oscar weekend began.
Follow Jenny Peters and Spywitness on Twitter at @jennpeters.