Wes Anderson filmed "Hotel Chevalier" as a short prequel to his upcoming feature, "The Darjeeling Limited." Currently viewable in various states on such Internet sites as iTunes and YouTube, it won't be shown with "Darjeeling" in theaters.

"At a certain point, we'll add it in with the movie," the director says, cryptically. "But I want to show them separately at first because they were made separately. They kind of rely on each other, but it's a very peculiar circumstance because it's not really preconceived. I didn't make it with any commercial plan. I'd almost like it if you saw the short one day and the movie the next day, in different ways."

Fan boys may prefer to savor "Chevalier" in the privacy of their own basements anyway. It's set in a suite at the luxurious Paris hotel, where Jason Schwartzman's writer character appears to be hiding out before joining his brothers in India.

A surprise visit from an old girlfriend (Natalie Portman) quickly leads to her jumping out of her clothes - and giving the actress' legion of admirers the kind of views films like "Closer" promised but never quite delivered.

Something of a Portmaniac himself, Schwartzman says playing love scenes with her was, well, not quite what one might dream.

"I'm a fan of hers in all ways," the actor says. "Unfortunately, I was a little preoccupied with the fact that I'd gotten a flu or something right when I'd landed in Paris. So I was really self-conscious about kissing her because I didn't want to get her ill.

"Which, you know, is not the way you want to work with Natalie Portman. But that's the way it went down. But I will say that it was everything you could imagine it would be and more. I want to leave it at that, kind of a cliffhanger for all the guys out there."

-- Bob Strauss