BY BOB STRAUSS >FILM CRITIC

Ever wonder what the meter maids of the world do on their off-hours?

Not much, according to "Expired," an uncomfortable comedy of debasement.

After a day of duly and dully ticketing richer people's cars on the Westside (and in Santa Monica, a jurisdictional glitch only Angelenos may notice), Samantha Morton's Claire goes home to her drab, boxy apartment to care for her stroke-muted mom (Teri Garr). Claire is another one of the English actress' mousy doormats, apparently devoid of much inner life, social skills or brains. But she's nice enough to let many a timed-out driver skate and figures getting cussed out by those she doesn't is just part of the job, and her so-called life.

Then Claire crosses parking enforcement scooters with Jay. Played by Jason Patric like he's auditioning for another Neil LaBute film, Jay has enough issues to fill a curbside storage bin. A loser who knows it and couldn't be more bitter, he enjoys abusing his authority, ruining people's days and Internet porn. On his quote/unquote "dates" with Claire, he constantly criticizes her and flies off the handle at the most minuscule, imagined provocation.

Clearly, he only wants to jump her bones, and can't even do that decently.

But hey, that's better than Claire's gotten from any guy before. Jay even mans-up now and then, supporting her through a crisis ... until, as is his nature, he tries to exploit her beaten-pup vulnerability. Maybe Claire needs to go through some of this, though, to locate her personality. Or her backbone.

Quite well played-out by the two leads and blessed with some droll, unflinching bad-relationship insight from first-time writer-director Cecilia Miniucchi, "Expired" is too committed to its theater-of-cruelty agenda to be very funny. Miniucchi obviously isn't shooting for a laugh fest or traditional romantic-comedy effect, but she goes too far the other way, lavishing relentless contempt on sad-sack Claire and just-awful Jay. We don't need to wish that these two will make it together by the end of the show, but we shouldn't be hoping someone will put them out if their misery, either.

>Bob Strauss

review>

EXPIRED

>Not rated: nudity, language, sex.

>Playing: Sunset 5, West Hollywood; Monicas, Santa Monica.