BY GLENN WHIPP >FILM CRITIC

When did the long beard become a signpost to tortured pain? The guys from ZZ Top always looked like they were having a good time. Santa Claus is a jolly ol' man.

But the minute you see Jose (Mexican pop star Eduardo Verastegui) sitting on the beach, stroking his foot-long beard in the crudely made tear-jerker "Bella," you know the man has been through a lot.

That or he's Jesus.

Actually, in writer-director Alejandro Monteverde's movie, it is quite possible that the saintly Jose is a stand-in for the Son of God. After all, he inexplicably (and this really is a complete head-scratcher) leaves his post as head chef at his brother's swanky Manhattan restaurant to chase down waitress Nina (Tammy Blanchard).

Jose's dictatorial brother Manny (Manny Perez) has just canned Nina for being late. He accuses her of showing up for work drunk. Turns out that Nina is really pregnant, and Jose wants to help. You see, before he grew the beard, Jose had a connection with a little girl.

And you know from his haunted expression that things didn't work out too well.

Speaking or expressions, Verastegui has exactly two in his actor's handbag: hangdog and puppy dog. But it's hard to lay the blame for "Bella" completely on his furry face. Monteverde's movie is full of long, melodramatic monologues, meagerly developed motivations and TV-movie staging. The choppy narrative makes the story unnecessarily confusing and largely uninteresting.

The good news for Monteverde is that he must have a lot of family and friends in his corner. How else to explain the fact that "Bella" won an audience award at last year's Toronto Film Festival?

BELLA 

>PG-13: thematic elements, disturbing images.
>Starring: Eduardo Verastegui, Tammy Blanchard.
>Director: Alejandro Monteverde.
>Running time: 1 hr. 31 min.
>Playing: Laemmle Playhouse 7 in Pasadena; Laemmle Sunset 5 in West Hollywood and select theaters.
>In a nutshell: Crudely made tear-jerker.