Calling Absolution a gym is like calling Paris Hilton a movie star—in other words, a gross understatement. What was conceived as a "gentleman's club for women" has evolved into a unisex, multi-tasking fitness complex, where gym-goers can engage in rock-climbing, circus arts, self-defense, pole dancing and pretty much any other activity that melts off love handles.

While this intimately sized gym offers fare you'd find elsewhere (Pilates, yoga, indoor rock climbing, boxing, pole dancing), it offers classes that make cardio lap dancing class look like garden variety spinning. The most standout offering is SpySchool, where participants learn how to kick butt like Jack Bauer or Sydney Bristow in a tailor-made espionage program. Depending on which SpySchool package they enroll in, wanna-be Bonds can take courses in self-defense and fighting skills; climbing and rappelling; weapons fighting and even belly dancing and strip tease (for those times you have to go undercover as Fatima, the Egyptian belly dancer). On the non-physical front, the gym also offers a "How to Disguise Yourself" workshop for operatives in training.  Don't want to play Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Other alternatives to those humdrum aerobics classes include Adult Gymnastix, where students flip, tumble and handspring like Romanian Olympiads, and Aerial Arts (our personal favorite), where participants learn moves like the Gazelle, Mermaid and Half Angel on the trapeze from a Cirque Du Soleil vet. And if that weren't enough, Absolution also offers "secret workshops," like "Dating, Mating, and Manhandling," "Girls Just Want to Have Funds" and "Tupperware." —Elisa Jacobs