Remember when Halloween was all about staying up late, scoring free candy, gorging yourself repeatedly, navigating the splendid bazaar of back alley trades on the school yard and planning your totally sweet surf ninja costume a full two months in advance of the holiday?

Innocent youth has passed, and if you're sitting in your apartment with a vague map of plans for the evening, not knowing what to wear, with little to no money in your pocket and an overwhelming desire to rekindle your great love affair with the tricksters holiday, our WITCHING HOUR COSTUME GUIDE is the treat you're looking for.

Just because you're probably going to get wasted on cheap, green drinks and do regretful, last-minute, hilarious, very adult things this Saturday, doesn't mean you have to leave the childhood glee of dressing-up behind.

LA.com has put together ten foolproof costumes that can be ready to go off the cuff for very little cash on Halloween night. Most of these things can be found in any all-night grocery or drug store so there's no excuse for not dressing up.


FOR THE LADIES

Naughty Librarian
You Need: Pencil skirt, white button-up shirt, double-sided tape, paper, glasses, ruler - total time: 15 minutes
Most ladies have a tight pencil skirt in their repertoire and if they don't this is the perfect time to get one. Just pair the white shirt with the skirt and make a little name tag that reads, "LIBRARIAN" to be tapped onto a booby of your choice. Throw your hair in a tight bun, slap on some bright red lipstick, heels and reading glasses and wield your wooden ruler into the night.

Octomom
You Need: Balloon, big t-shirt (preferably stained), hair curlers - total time: 15 minutes
Blow up the balloon and place it snugly under the shirt. Wear whatever bottoms you like and put your hair in ratty curlers. This is a particularly fun costume for those who are planning on drinking to excess on All Hollows Eve and can be customized easily to turn it into  Angelina Jolie or any famous baby factory. The photos on Facebook alone will be classic.



FOR THE FELLAS
(tributes)

Michael Jackson
You Need: Pajamas, blazer, sunglasses, shoulder length black wig, single gloved rolled in glitter - total time: 20 minutes
What's that you say? The man just died? His grave is not yet cold and you are suggesting people dress up as a national treasure in his more dire hour of distress? Yes. Yes I am. Any old PJs will do and a normal glove can be magically transformed into the tell tale item of this costume by simply wetting it with glue and rolling it in glitter. The real trick to this get up is the wig and striking that creepy, hunched over posture.

Oxy Clean Guy (Billy Mays)
You Need: Blue button-up shirt, khaki pants, fake beard, construction paper, double-sided tape - total time: 15 minutes
Yet another celebrity death costume. Look, if the pallbearers at his funeral can pull it off and call it reverential, so can you. If you don't already have a blue button-up shirt then the good people at any Ross or K-Mart will be happy to sell you one for very little money. Fake beards are also available in almost every costume shop and you can print out the Oxy Clean logo at home, cut it out and tape it to the shirt. This costume is also nice because it gives you license to shout at stranger and smile a lot for no reason, a luxury only crazy homeless people have had the pleasure to enjoy.


UNISEX

80's
You Need: You know damn well what you need - total time: 10 minutes
A single trip to the Goodwill or Salvation Army will get the job done on this costume, probably for under $20. Take it one step further by picking an 80's icon to emulate like Judd Nelson, Ducky from Sixteen Candles or AC Slater from Saved by the Bell.

Tin Foil Robot
You Need: Tin Foil, tape - total time: 15 minutes (with help)
Tin foil is probably the most versatile of all last-minute costume supplies. It can be molded to most any shape and hold that shape for a while without crumbling apart or ripping if you get a heavy grade version. Grab a friend and cover yourself in the crinkly, silver stuff, creating an antenna at the crown of the head. Draw on knobs and buttons with sharpie pens for a more authentic effect.

Toilet Paper Mummy
You Need: Toilet paper, tape - total time: 15 minutes (with help)
This is an oldie but goodie. The toilet paper mummy has been the go-to costume of lazy college students for quite some time and ranks right up there with the bed sheet toga robe for ease of creation, wearability and, more importantly, removeability.

The Balloon Boy Balloon
You Need: Tin Foil, tape/staples, cardboard boxes, string - total time: 30 minutes
Just like the best episodes of Law & Order, the best Halloween costumes are often ripped straight from the headlines. To make yourself look like the now infamous flying object which was all over the news this month, take the cardboard and create a short tube, wide enough for you to stand in, and put two holes, shoulder width apart, on the back side. Cut out a flying saucer shape in cardboard and two holes, should width apart, at the top to run string through and connect to the tube. Cover both cardboard shapes in tin foil. Take the string and connect the top to the bottom so you can step into the costume and sling the string over your shoulders to hold it all up.

You Might Be A Redneck If...
You Need: T-Shirt, denim shorts, blush - total time: 10 minutes
First off, the t-shirt should preferably feature an American flag or a band like Bon Jovi but make sure you're not too attached to it. In classic redneck fashion the sleeves will need to be jettisoned as well a good three inches off the shorts. Take the blush and run it along the back side of your neck. Put a Pabst Blue Ribbon in one hand and allow a Parliament to dangle from your lips and you are officially done.



ADDITIONAL COSTUME AWESOMENESS

Western Costume Company :: It's the oldest and largest costume company in the United States and there's one in North Hollywood. You can take the red line! more...

Halloween Town :: Burbank's year-round solution to all your costume needs, come Halloween or high water. more...

Sherman Oaks Antique Mall :: A little spotty, but will have real-life, vintage threads for last-minute purchase. more...

Halloween Costume and Vintage Sale Fundraiser :: This Long Beach event will not only put Halloween threads on your back, it'll put some coin in the AIDS Foundation box. A serious win-win. more...

Encore Costume Boutique :: This one's in Fullerton (hey, you said you were desperate!). Good threads can be had if you can get there and to your party in time. more...