It's the Cypress Bay High School Circuit, the subject of yet another MTV reality show, "The Paper."

As this trailer for the show notes, reality at the Circuit is a lot like a lot of reality TV in general - people dance around, make out, argue and get teary-eyed. And most of the participants are good-looking.

I was editor of my high-school paper (and yearbook), and I can safely report that if MTV's cameras had followed our staff around, it would've caused a universe-destroying rift in the time-space continuum, as MTV didn't exist at the time. I can also report that if they had done so anyway, they wouldn't've been able to cobble together enough interesting footage to put together a single episode of the show, let alone an entire season.

We didn't break into spontaneous dance in our classroom. We didn't make out, either, or sweep the female staffers up in our arms for publicity photos. We didn't have sing-alongs. We didn't yell and scream at one another. No one was reduced to tears over anything involving the paper (or anything else, as far as I can recall). We didn't trash cars with sledgehammers. There wasn't any great drama behind the selection of the editor - the faculty adviser picked someone, and that was that.

Basically, people did their work - typed up their stories, laid out the pages, cropped photos, proofread copy - or, they didn't, because some people took courses working on the paper because even if you didn't do a thing, you'd still get a B. And with an exception or two, we were all just kind of average-looking.

So clearly, the high-school-newspaper racket has gotten a lot sexier. Or, more likely, the reality-TV genre has inspired a generation to always be "on," to respond like a drama queen to every potential problem, to be loud and colorful because that's how you get cameras to remain trained upon you. But in the future, how will people know how to behave when a camera isn't pointing at them?

"The Paper": 10:30 tonight, MTV

Who could see this one coming, except for everybody?

A moment's silence, please, for "Secret Talents of the Stars," which CBS canceled after a mere one episode, which drew an ostentatiously awful 4.6 million viewers.

OK, that's enough. No need going overboard.

Katie, unbar the door

Well, that didn't take long.

The Wall Street Journal reported last week that "CBS Evening News" anchor Katie Couric will take her handful of viewers and go home, perhaps as soon as next January, after the presidential inauguration. CBS immediately denied they had any "plans to make changes," but ...

Couric is currently signed with the network through June 2011, at $15 million per year.

But whatever CBS COO Les Moonves expected of Couric when he almost ran over her with his money truck has decidedly not occurred: Her ratings are worse than her predecessor Bob Schieffer's, worse even than the guy who left the network ignominiously, Dan Rather. Couric manages about 5.9 million viewers a night, as opposed to NBC's 8.3 million and ABC's 8 million. That's what you'd call a distant third place.

And giving Couric all that cash when it could've gone to serious news-gathering has seriously hamstrung CBS News - last week, it laid off a slew of local reporters at affiliates owned and operated by the network; this week, it was reported that the news division might outsource some of its duties to CNN.

One possible scenario in the Wall Street Journal's chalk talk has Couric going to CNN herself, where she'd take over for the Cryptkeeper, er, we mean, Little League aficionado Larry King, whose contract expires next year even if he doesn't. This, of course, doesn't really solve anything: One of the things that has been underscored during Couric's tenure at CBS is her uneven interviewing skills - too cozy with Condoleezza Rice, too snippy with John and Elizabeth Edwards.

And, CBS would have to renew an anchor search having not much bothered to strengthen its farm system. And again with CNN - one guy initially named as a possible anchor, John Roberts, bolted to CNN when it became apparent CBS wasn't interested in grooming him for the gig. And you'd think that Moonves might've learned his lesson re: shelling out cash for pricey outsiders.

All grim stuff, indeed. So we'll cede final word to the happy-face statements blandly issued by CBS News: "We are very proud of the `CBS Evening News,' " and Couric herself: "I am working hard and having fun."

David Kronke, (818) 713-3638 david.kronke@dailynews.com
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